It's all about the timing.

First, I just have to say that Kris Allen is quite amazing. I actually voted for the first time since Kelly. I have never wanted a person to win American Idol so bad. But I have also never wanted a person to NOT win so bad. (David Archuleta is close in who I wanted not to win, but I think I could have handled that okay...)

I just think that when a white guy from Arkansas sings a Kanye West song and like makes me LOVE a Kanye West song(a song that I previously hated)...he means business.

Anyway, more important things.

I am thankful for new beginnings and transitions. The transitioning of life is refreshing and a reminder that God's plans are what is right. I am just thankful for his timing.

Cambodia is nearing..but there's a lot before. I started working today. I don't love this job but it is great money. So I can't complain. Not to mention working with my sister is AWESOME! It's great to get tips again...I love taking money home everyday =)!

Saying goodbye yesterday was way hard. I cried a lot on Sunday night, a lot on Monday morning... so many tears. I hate leaving when things are just great. I didn't get to see Kara yesterday but as I drove away, all I could think about was leaving my two best friends. I haven't ever had a friend like Kara. I hate that our lives have to change so drastically to where we aren't even in the same place anymore... but soon we will be. I can't wait to go celebrate the most awesome party of her life with her. I am SO excited to be with her on that day.

I just can't thank God enough for his divine timing and the way that he shows us his love by timing things his own way. I am thankful he doesn't listen to me. I couldn't have pictured a better time.

Hellloooooo summer!

Summer is always an exciting word, but not today.

Summer=leaving Joplin. This is something I am not ready to do quite yet. Mostly because my two best friends will be here... and when I come back to Joplin in a few weeks, one of those best friends will be getting married. How weird. I don't know if I am ready to give her up as my roommate... I don't know if it is possible to find another match like us. We recently talked about how we can't really think of any times when we have ever actually been upset with each other, or not wanted to live together, or didn't look forward to seeing each other. And now that goes away. How sad. I am ready to have my own room and have a lot of space... but I'd rather have a roommate like Kara.

I am not quite ready to do this whole distance thing with Tyler AGAIN. It seems to be the story of our entire friendship/relationship. "Hey, it's summer, I'm gonna go to Poland. Hey, it's summer, I'm gonna go to Houston. Hey, it's summer, at least I am staying in Joplin!" He stays closer and closer every year, so that's good. But I'd prefer no hour and half drive. At least I know I am coming back and I don't just live an hour away like high school.

Summer also means things like working a ton, going to Cambodia, going to church camp... I am kinda walking in to the unknown on two big things. A. Cambodia, which I think is enough said. B. Camp. It's weird to think I am going somewhere besides Cyokamo. I feel like I am cheating on Cyokamo. But I am so looking forward to spending a week straight with this youth group and just getting to know them better. Not just that, letting them get to know me better. I can only build relationships to a certain extent by spending two 2 hour intervals with them a week. Maranatha, here I come!

I am really looking forward to a lot of things, I just wish I didn't have to leave people here in Joplin. But really, working with my sister, Cambodia, Florida, church camp, and spending time with my family and high school friends? I guess it won't be too bad!

For such a time as this...

It has been a long while! It has been a busy few weeks...so busy!

First off, school is so consuming. This has definitely been the hardest semester. I am not sure if I have had more/harder work or it's just that there have been a few other things taking up my time. I have thoroughly enjoyed my classes this semester though. Each has been super interesting and I have been learning so much.

This semester I was given the opportunity to write four sermons and preach two to my class. That was quite an experience. A great experience. I had the opportunity to debate hot topics in my Philosophy class. That was also quite an experience, not the best one. I am not that comfortable with speaking in front of people without being prepared. I managed to do this without crying and fleeing the scene so I did overcome the expectations I had =)! I got to spend three hours a week learning a million new things about counseling. That class has been wonderful. I got to spend three hours a week learning about the way different social and ethnic groups interpret the Bible... also looking at the history of interpretation. So interesting! I also spent one night a week learning about the many different topics that women struggle with and how to minister to them in their times of crisis. I learned so much and definitely feel more prepared for situations that could arise in my future and in the future of those around me.

The Jason Mraz concert was this week. That was so awesome! It was so awesome to get to go and spend a night out with Lydia and my mom. It was their first time to see him live, I am glad I got to witness it. He is such an amazing musician. It has been four years since he has been to Tulsa... hopefully it won't be another four years for him to return

The last really tiring thing that has happened as of late was the Girls Retreat. We spent all semester preparing and praying for the high school girls at College Heights Christian Church. I didn't know what to expect. I didn't know if it would be incredible or just okay. I knew our plans were great, but would everything come together? It sure did. The team of women that I got to work with was amazing. I'll tell you what, even being a leader this weekend, I needed so much of it. Being consumed with school, working, raising money, preparing to go to Cambodia, preparing to end this school year and leave all of my friends for months has been so tiring. I just spent 24 hours with 40 high school girls and probably 15ish amazing women. I have said/thought this so many times in the past semester: why did I get to take part in something so great with women so great? I am a 20 year old girl who doesn't have life figured out. Why could I be chosen to minister to girls who think that when you are 20 you do know what's going on and what life is. Well I don't. But something I learned this weekend was that it wasn't an accident. It wasn't an accident that I got to help plan, that I was placed in the group of girls I was placed with, that I spent last night at Julie's house and got a little refreshing moment of talking about things that don't get talked about in my life.

God gave me a lot of surprises in the past week in preparation for this weekend and all of them were perfect. It wasn't an accident. As tiring as it was to staying up past 3:00 AM, play last night at House of Bounce, and wake up at 8 AM and do Zumba... it was worth the truth sessions and the Royal Party where the girls were treated as they should be. We had a beautiful banquet and were served by wonderful women. I can catch up on sleep. I wouldn't have missed this for the world.

A certain song became the theme, so if you don't mind, I'll be sharing some lyrics.

Captivate us, Lord Jesus
Set our eyes on You
Devastate us with Your presence
Falling down
And rushing river, draw us nearer
Holy fountain consume us with You
Captivate us Lord Jesus, with You

Terrify No More

I just finished one of the suggested readings for my trip to Cambodia and it was intense. I learned so much.

I learned about an organization that isn't just working to rescue young girls, but their mission actually works to stop the sex trade in Cambodia. They don't just save the girls and leave the brothels to replace the girls. They don't just buy the girls out to leave the brothels with more money than they would have even made on her before. They take the girls, put them in aftercare facilities, and work with Cambodian police to arrest the perpetrators. They do whatever it takes to stop this thriving business.

I learned so much about what I will be walking through when I walk the streets of Phnom Penh in less than two months. In less than two months I will see the places I read about... I will even meet girls just like the ones I read about.

I read so many stories of slaves gaining a freedom they were tricked out of earlier in life. So many of the people caught in slavery were tricked there. So many of the girls are tricked by older women and then sold. So many of these girls are sold by parents, aunts, or uncles... even husbands. So many of the people in slavery are bonded by a debt that was gained by a relative so many generations earlier that they don't even know their name. They are bonded by lies and threats. It's so frustrating!

But it's something I think everyone needs to know about. Dateline did a report on it, actually on the specific raid that took place in the book. I found it online and found it crazy to see the stories I read.

Well there is my little rant about Cambodia and about the new realization I have had on how much slavery there is in the world.

I am in awe that God is letting me be a part of this mission.

It was a calm evening at Sonic. I was about to take an order out and the phone rang, before I could make it out the door my manager told me it was for me. When my mom started the conversation with "everything is okay..." my mind went somewhere else. Why is it when we hear a phrase like that we assume the opposite? Lydia and James were still in Joplin and my first thought was that for some reason they would be coming home and they were in an accident... but it was something I couldn't have made up in my own mind. The words "dad" "stroke" and "brain aneurism"(ended up no brain aneurism) were involved. That's about all I got out of that conversation, other than gathering that I should stay somewhere that night.

I went home and got my things ready for school the next day and went to the Killions. It still confuses me why I would choose to go there instead of the comfort of my best friends home... but then again it makes sense. This is when I figured out that they really are my family too.

I walked in and it was really confusing. I told Blaine I was staying with them and he was just like, alright. So we watched TV and worked on homework... then Cathy came. She didn't know about my dad. That was probably one of the worst parts. It was less than two hours after I found out and I had to actually say it out loud to another person who had no idea. How do you get those words out? How did I? I have no idea. After that moment I decided to shower and sleep.

April 3rd, 2006 was over. I had no idea that that day would begin something new in my life and in the life of each person in my family. There were days harder than this one to come, but this day was significant. Three years later I can only say I am thankful for that day and everything that has come with this journey.

Decisions, decisions.

I have had to make a few decisions lately and something occured to me...I have gotten much better at saying no-even to the things I really want to do.

I really do wish I could apply to be RA, but I think it best if I don't. I am more interested in taking my involvement at College Heights to a new level. I would rather focus on that ministry... Those high school girls probably need more time from me than I would be able to give if I had to be here for my floor as well. While I think I could possibly handle this, I don't think it would be what is best for our floor. I really want this decision to be made based on the floor and not myself.

I would really love to lead a freshman small group, but a couple of the requirements would not fit in with what is best for my life next year.. an extra class that would cause me to rearrange my work schedule, and a recommended limit on how many hours I take... no thanks. I would love to, but once again, the small group I will be leading come May deserves my full attention.

I realized with my tax refund being more than $20 this year I could maybe afford to buy a digital camera. But then it hit me-- OH. By the end of July I have to drop $250 if I want insurance on my computer. So there goes my new digital camera, here comes $250 on something I hope I need. This is the first time I have wished that my computer would break. Gotta put that 250 to use.

School is going to end soon and that's weird. I'll be a junior. I am almost halfway done with college.. or at least at this level. It's so weird to me that I have no idea where I am going or what I will be doing after graduation. I hope I have clearer plans by this time next year. But who even knows. That's the crummy part of letting someone else have control of my plans. But the great part is at least I know He is making the right choices for me!

Countdown

I can't believe I preached today. I had been dreading this day all semester. It came, the preaching is done, and I'd like to think I conquered.

It was such a blessing to be able to take the work I put in to something, express it to my peers, and have them tell me that my sermon could be a blessing in their lives. I kinda viewed it as they are there to evaluate... but on my evaluation forms, so many of them wrote that they needed to hear what I had to say. I am so thankful that God calmed me...and that he used me today.

I have two weeks of NO assignments due. I don't even know what to think! I also no longer work on the weekends... all of the sudden all of this time is coming! Woo! It's wonderful to have a little break... on top of the week I just got =)

Countdown, anyone?

35 days til Jason Mraz!
51 days til school is out!
74 days til Cambodia!

These are exciting times!