Words

Whenever the word hope is mentioned, I picture two of the six year old girls experiencing their first month of true hope that they have been introduced to. Whenever the word justice is mentioned, I think of the people still begging on the side of the road in Cambodia and how they have yet to receive their justice. Whenever peace is mentioned, I think of the morning we spent touring Rapha House and I can clearly hear girls singing in Khmer. Whenever the word freedom is mentioned, I picture the girls playing soccer in the front. Whenever the word love is mentioned, I lose it completely. All I can think about is the love that I have for my two beautiful Khmer sisters. I think about how much they loved me. I think about how much God loves those amazing girls. I think about how their love literally changed my life. I think about how his love has changed their life. I think about how he loves the outcasts that fill Women's Island. He loves the kids at the kids club. He loves the parents that are only looking out for themselves. He loves the parents who sell their children. He loves the men who buy the children. That mostly leads to this: I think about how he still loves the offender. He loves the men who live in Cambodia and take part in the booming sex industry. He even loves the American business man who flies over seas to take part in this terrible act. His love isn't conditional. His love isn't reserved for the people who try to act according to his word. His love is reserved for every single person who has ever breathed a single breath.

Love is a crazy thing. I have never seen God's love as best as I saw it in Cambodia. Love has many different faces to me. People who love me, people who I love. It's never people that I should be loving but am not. Who am I to choose who is worth my love? I don't deserve God's love. I accept it and I am so thankful for it, but I have never done a single thing worth the amount of love he has for me. I get more from him than I deserve. For that reason, every single person I have ever seen, talked to, thought about, and those who I don't know exist, are worth every bit of my love.

If I don't love them, how will they ever know that God does?

Reflection

6/10/09

"Last night was eye opening. As we drove through Phnom Penh we began to see the Red Lights go on in the back of establishments. The girls began to take their places to be seen and attract customers. It was heart breaking. I wanted to jump out of the bus and save them but I know that some of them don't even want to be saved. It's so frustrating to witness it right in front of my face but do nothing about it. Why can't we save them?"

"As we walked down the isle the girls made, I cried. It was an experience I will never forget. I have no words to describe what it was like being celebrated by girls who have been raped and abused countless times. It was overwhelming.

The girls are beautiful. I think what makes them more beautiful than other Cambodian women that we have seen is their joy. The Lord brightly shines through their mouths, their eyes, and their voices. Who knew such young girls that have been through such terrible things could have more joy than I could. I love them so much."

6/11/09

"We got to take our tour of Rapha House this morning. The whole location was peaceful and calm. Very often we could hear girls singing in the background. It was beautiful. The buildings are beautiful and calm. You can just tell that God lives at Rapha House."

6/12/09

"After that, we sat on the porch. She just laid her head in my lap and I played with her hair. Love doesn't speak one language. It is a language. It was a beautiful moment."

"I saw her at the market. I didn't know she was shopping for me at the time though. The necklace has a guitar on it. It's not the prettiest necklace, but it's the most beautiful thing I own. I can't believe she spent money on me. I can see that she loves me. I love her so much. I will miss these two girls more than anything in the world."

6/13/09

"I learned tonight that I have to let go. In order to help them heal, I have to let go. I can be in their hearts and they can be in mine. I will see them again. I will spend eternity with them. I thank God for that. I can't wait to worship with my sisters in His very presence."

6/14/09

"My heart feels heavy. I already miss them so much. Their smiles are as bright as the sun and their laughter is the sweetest music this world could ever give. Their hugs are as sweet as can be and the way they hold my hand warms my heart. She was not as happy tonight. I know she was dreading our goodbye. So was I.

I felt so alone when driving away. I was on a bus full of people I have only known for a week. I had just said goodbye to people that I love. I longed for a familiar embrace. I longed for someone that knows me to comfort me.

I long for their protection. I pray that as sisters they will always watch over each other. Their sisterly love astounds me... and that they would treat me the same way. God blessed my heart through my sisters."

Progress

http://www.examiner.com/x-16813-Legal-News-Examiner~y2009m8d31-Operation-Twisted-Traveler-arrests-American-sex-tourists-in-Cambodia

I don't know if you have seen anything on the news about this, but it is making pretty big level news. And it's exciting.

People think that they can go to places like Cambodia and other countries in SE Asia and do what is unacceptable in America. I am not just saying that because that's what someone else told me. I say that because standing in a market in Siem Reap I overheard an man telling his son that it's okay to do this in Cambodia, but not at home. That's one of those stories that I don't think most people want to hear, but here are three men who did the same exact thing. And it's making headlines. To me, this is a good day. I know that it's not like they raided another brothel or arrested 50 people. But three more men out of Cambodia is a major victory. The news caring about this is huge. People are going to see this and realize that it isn't okay like they assume.

The hardest part about my whole trip wasn't being with girls who have been through sex-trafficking. The hardest part wasn't leaving Rapha House. The hardest part wasn't dealing with cultural differences. The hardest part was seeing western men walking the streets at night looking for places to go and not being able to do a single thing about it. This is why this one story of three men feels like a huge milestone to me. Because I have seen men just like them. I have been to the exact village they mention in that article.

I cry a lot about things that have to do with Cambodia... pretty much everyday. But tonight it's not a sad cry. These are tears of extreme hope in the fact that God will bring justice in His time. Even if it happens slowly. He doesn't abandon His people.

You'll Come

Chains be broken, lives be healed, eyes be opened, Christ is revealed.

Those are lyrics to a Hillsong United song called "You'll Come". I love this song for a lot of reasons. Mostly because the lyrics are so full of optimism and hope.

At one point on my trip, I found myself on a 5 hour boat ride from Battambang to Siem Reap. Prior to leaving, we were told that we will past through boating villages and communities. We were told that sex trafficking existed even in those communities. So for a portion of this trip, Malia, Jessica, and I sat on the very front of the boat out from underneath the covering. It gave us a much cooler breeze and view of all of the people. I was thankful for this leg of travel because it allowed us to see yet another side of Cambodia: the people who choose to live on the rivers.

I eventually turned my Ipod on. I put the songs on shuffle. And I am pretty sure God chose what songs to play for me. There were a series of songs that had totally uplifting lyrics and helped me feel like there is so much hope for Cambodia. It gave me hope for the girls that I know are still in trafficking.

Eventually You'll Come came on. The very first words of this song are "Chains be broken, lives be healed, eyes be opened, Christ is revealed." As I am watching the people as we float by, some children wave and run as much as they can to continue to wave to us, some children look hopeless. So here I am, staring into the faces of children that are potentially in modern day slavery and the words "chains be broken" are being repeated in my ears. That moved me. I wanted to reach out to each child we passed and tell them that there is hope for them too. I wanted to tell them that even though their physical shackles might not ever be broken, they can obtain freedom. Even in modern day slavery, people can have hope, peace, love, and even justice.

We sang this song in chapel yesterday. It was actually the very first song we sang. That was hard. But it was kind of appropriate timing. Because when I am in chapel at 10 o'clock AM on a Tuesday morning, it is 10 o'clock Tuesday evening in Cambodia. This means that while I am freely worshipping God with my classmates on campus at my school of choice, thousands of girls are preparing themselves for the night of work that lies ahead. It's hard. It's hard to be surrounded by loving Christians singing words like "chains be broken" and automatically my thoughts are filled with the horrible night that lies ahead for thousands of girls.

So what do I do? Well I have to pray. There is no other choice. I have to automatically pray for the girls that are in bondage. I have to pray because I can picture riding our bus around Phnom Penh at night looking in to the shops, seeing the red lights go on and the girls come out. I have to pray that God will bring them some sign of comfort and hope that night if they won't be rescued.

I know there is hope for the 27 million people still in modern day slavery. I just have to pray that they can see the hope as well.

"I have told you these things so that in me you may find peace. In this world you will face many troubles but take heart! I have overcome the world." John 16:33

How Great Thou Art

Disclaimer: For some of you, you are reading my blog because you received my follow-up letter in the mail this week. I just want to encourage you to read previous posts about Cambodia. I have already written about many stories that are dear to my heart. I hope you will go back to read those too!

Okay, end the disclaimer!

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Our first morning at Rapha House was particularly serene. I can remember touring the compound thinking about how peaceful that morning was. It was quiet, you could hear the slight wind... But mixed in with the quiet I could hear some of the girls singing. It was beautiful to hear nothing but their voices literally echoing throughout the buildings. I also remember it being particularly cool that morning which added to the peacefulness. Morning time in Cambodia are generally the hottest hours of the day. But God really blessed us as we saw the buildings and experienced the land for the first time.

But before we were able to tour the grounds, we experienced our first staff devotion with the incredible Rapha House staff members. I did not think a whole lot going into this time, but it turned out to better than I expected (as was every experience on my trip). My team was able to share a little bit about ourselves individually, then the staff introduced themselves to us as well. One of the first things we did was worship. They had hymnals to sing out of and we could join in when we knew the song, or participate by praying when we did not know the songs.

The very first song we sang was How Great Thou Art. As we began to sing with them my heart filled with a new gratitude toward God. Hearing the voices of our team worshipping in English mixed with the voices of the staff worshipping in Khmer was unlike anything I have ever experienced. At first our voices were distinct. The people there just sing in a different way. We rarely heard harmony and it became obvious that singing to them is not about the music what-so-ever at all. As we moved on from verse to chorus to verse, our voices meshed. It could have been my own ears adjusting, but personally, I think that God blessed me with a new view that morning. It's like he allowed me to hear what he hears. He doesn't hear Khmer or English, he just hears our hearts. I am still so thankful he opened my ears in such a way that I could hear the beautiful worship of his people from more than one place in this world.

I love how God weaves past experiences into new experiences. I say this because my very first Sunday back at home I was really excited to be back at church. Ironically, the very first song we sang that Sunday was How Great Thou Art. It was a very different sound than worshipping in Cambodia (as expected!)... but clear as day, I could hear the Rapha House Staff singing the same song in Khmer. I have a feeling that I will always be hearing that song in Khmer from now on. And that is really okay with me.

Then sings my soul, my Savior God, to thee, how great thou art...

Freedom in Cambodia

The sound at Rapha House is soothing. I don't think it is the compound, or the acoustics. It is just the girls. Anywhere they are, beautiful music is played. Their laughter is overwhelming. Hearing them laugh and play with each other brings so much joy.

It is an overwhelming sound of freedom.

Yes, the most important thing is that the girls were saved from slavery. They are no longer slaves to horrific master. That's a great thing. But the girls are given so much more than they bargained for. You see, other children in Cambodia (even children who are not in slavery) are not free. Most children that we came in contact with were still under a different kind of bondage. If they have younger siblings, they become caretakers.

Our group put on a Mother's Clinic one day. Two mothers in our group spoke to the Khmer mothers. They talked about being good mothers and the ways to do that. They talked about health, nutrition, and caretaking. They also told the mothers to be mothers and let their kids be kids. The mothers don't allow their older children to run and play and be kids. They expect them to take care of their younger siblings(something ironic is that one girl brought her little sister to the mommy clinic because she is her caretaker...) They might be free in the sense that they aren't slaves of sex trafficking or of child labor. But they are not free to be kids.

In America, we have opportunity. Seeing chilren playing on a playground or in front yards is not uncommon. The only place you see children playing in Cambodia is in the dirty streets, but that is only until their parents find out where they are.

I have mentioned the Kids Club we participated at. This place is freedom for the kids of the slums. As different as those kids were, they showed me a new sense of freedom. Watching those kids come through the gate is like watching them run into a candy shop or a water park. They light up. They wait outside of the gates just to get in to play for the afternoon and they become sad when 7 oclock comes and it is time to go home. Their freedom for the day is gone. The family that we worked with is Jesus to their neighborhood. They provide a way for kids to be kids.

Like I said, there is nothing like watching the girls at Rapha laugh and play with each other. They know they have been given freedom from sex trafficking, freedom from obligations to be caretakers for younger siblings, but most of all, Rapha House gives them freedom in Christ. They are given teaching about how Jesus died to set them free.

I still have a hard time understanding why God gave me the opportunity to be a part of something so great in a place that is overcome with darkness. I hope that by everything that I write you can understand how your prayers and thoughts are a part of a huge light in Cambodia.

Isaiah 58:6-14: Justice

The people of Cambodia don't really have anyone fighting for them. Because of the Khmer Rouge, there is so much poverty. Because of this poverty, they have to do whatever is possible to make money. This includes things like, making jewelry, learning to cut hair, sewing clothes or making fabrics, or things like selling their children. Luckily, there are organizations bringing justice to much of the slave situations. There are people rescuing children and arresting the perpetrators. But still, the people of Cambodia are hurting. No one is fighting for them. No one besides God. This passage brings me a lot of confidence that God is looking out for all of the nations that have no one else fighting for them.

⁶ "Is not this the kind of fasting I have chosen:
to loose the chains of injustice
and untie the cords of the yoke,
to set the oppressed free
and break every yoke?

⁷ Is it not to share your food with the hungry
and to provide the poor wanderer with shelter—
when you see the naked, to clothe him,
and not to turn away from your own flesh and blood?

⁸ Then your light will break forth like the dawn,
and your healing will quickly appear;
then your righteousness will go before you,
and the glory of the Lord will be your rear guard.

⁹ Then you will call, and the Lord will answer;
you will cry for help, and he will say: Here am I.
"If you do away with the yoke of oppression,
with the pointing finger and malicious talk,

¹⁰ and if you spend yourselves in behalf of the hungry
and satisfy the needs of the oppressed,
then your light will rise in the darkness,
and your night will become like the noonday.

¹¹ The Lord will guide you always;
he will satisfy your needs in a sun-scorched land
and will strengthen your frame.
You will be like a well-watered garden,
like a spring whose waters never fail.

¹² Your people will rebuild the ancient ruins
and will raise up the age-old foundations;
you will be called Repairer of Broken Walls,
Restorer of Streets with Dwellings.

¹³ "If you keep your feet from breaking the Sabbath
and from doing as you please on my holy day,
if you call the Sabbath a delight
and the Lord's holy day honorable,
and if you honor it by not going your own way
and not doing as you please or speaking idle words,

¹⁴ then you will find your joy in the Lord,
and I will cause you to ride on the heights of the land
and to feast on the inheritance of your father Jacob."
The mouth of the Lord has spoken.