Goodbye to a crazy, unpredictable year.

Dear God,

I am not the least bit sad to see 2011 to go. Don't get me wrong, you've been really good at teaching me things this year. I am thankful 2011 happened, but would love if I never experienced another year like it. This year you gave me challenges I never wanted to go through. I went through them and now I bid them adieu.

In March you gave me a class that change my perspective on just about everything in life. You changed my perspective on culture and how to adjust to culture. You changed my perspective on food. You changed my perspective on ministry and relationships. You prompted some big changes in my life. This is one of the things about 2011 that I can't thank you enough for giving me. It was a challenging blessing. It was so necessary in order for me to become the me you created me to be. Oh and thanks for letting me learn this in a great setting- NYC!

In May, two spectacular things happened. One is bad, one is good. Let's start with the good. You let me graduate from college! I said goodbye to early classes, long exegeticals, and impossible tests! Goodbye "student" life- hello real life! You gave me a great blessing...my college degree. I couldn't be more thankful.

But unfortunately, May 22 is a day I remember even better than the previous day. I mean, I learned a lot through that. I am thankful for the lessons learned but I would never say I am thankful for the devastation and lives lost. Thank you for challenging my emotional and physical strength, and the ability to support my husband who saw and did much more in those weeks than I did. I grew a lot, but I wish it would have never happened. But I think everyone learned something about Joplin in 2011 too: That town is full of strength and hope that nothing could ever destroy. Thanks for letting the nation see that.

In June you prompted me to be proactive and change my life. Thus began the 6th months of weight loss for me. Besides my graduation, it's the biggest accomplishment in 2011- one of the biggest in my life too. 6 months and 25 lbs lighter- 2012 will not see an overweight me! I thank you for that. I have never felt better about my physical, emotional, and spiritual health. This change began in mid-June and I am so excited to start 2012 as a better me! And although I don't have the classic before and after photos like on the infomercials, you can see a snapshot of what we have both accomplished physically in 2011:

Before:

And after:

In August, we did the unthinkable. We moved to Owasso. You blessed me with a great job and amazing bosses. You blessed us with amazing time with family. You blessed us with the lesson of flexibility and patience. You broke our confidence and our hearts at times. Doors were opened and doors were closed. And I mean every door we knocked on. But we know there's one that is appropriate for us to walk to- I am just praying that we find that door in 2012.

Here we are anxious for 2012 and what it holds for us. I can name a few things I want 2012 to give us, but after the unpredictable year we just had, all bets are off. The door is open for whatever you want to do. We are all ears, ready to go. But if we are supposed to wait, we are ready for that to. Lead us where you want and we will go. In 2011 you showed us how you provide and how the safety of leaning on you is so much better than any earthly security we could ever have.

With all of our love,

Tyler and Abigail Lane

As of lately...

Okay, it has obviously been awhile. For more than one reason I have refrained from blogging. Mostly for my own sanity because I assumed every blog before a job came along would be full of complaining of our unemployment lifestyle. From time to time throughout this unemployment, different things happen to trigger some pretty heavy thankfulness from me. Basically, I am overwhelmed by how God has chosen to take care of us.

Last January we began looking lightly for a youth ministry to move on to when Tyler's interim ministry came to an end. In April we began to search heavily. Since then we have been moving non stop to try and decipher God's plan for our lives. The farther along we get, the more we realize it is not something for us to decipher but rather waiting on God to reveal his plan for our lives.

Time and time again I am reassured that we are following God's leading in our lives. About mid July we decided to move home which I think was not necessary something we had to do but something that seemed right for us at the time. While my heart yearns for the relationships I left behind in Joplin, I couldn't be more thankful for the lessons God has taught us in Owasso. Each time we return to Joplin, I am reminded of relationships that will always mean the world to me. It's always great to catch up with students and see how well they are doing. I love those kids, but I am longing for new kids to love on and grow with.

My main thoughts over the last couple of days is that I may have anticipated this time of sabbatical to be one of emptiness and desert. I thought it might be a time of depression and anxious yearning for the next thing. While there are definitely moments of these feelings, there are a thousand more moments of complete fullness and joy. My heart is constantly being filled by words that God has given to different authors and mentors who have passed them on to me. (Not to mention that I am pretty sure a wonderful author (Shauna Niequist) wrote the book Bittersweet for me in this exact season of life. It pretty much brings me to tears each time I read the truth my soul needs.)

Tyler and I are currently "house sitting" or I guess, "fish sitting" for some new friends we've made. While feeding their cute little Beta yesterday, I noticed that my friend Brittany had written "Where God guides, God provides" on a white board in their kitchen. It's almost as if God had her write those words for me so that I could accurately relate what I am feeling right now. That is just it, he's been guiding us all along and I assure that he has never stopped providing for us. It fills my heart to know that that simple truth will never run out of accuracy and that as long as we are following his lead, he will provide all that we need.