Productivity

Life has been very productive lately. I have a huge mound of assignments coming up in the next several weeks... which usually stresses me out to the max (at least that is the story of this semester). But last week I made a decision: I am not going to let myself get so stressed out that I actually have emotional breakdowns. Yes. I have had some extreme emotions going on this semester. When I get stressed out, these emotions are magnified. It's hard for me to handle being a wife, a student, a volunteer, and worker. I've even had to cut out my second place of volunteering which is extremely sad. I had several weeks that I was stuck in a rut of complete stress. But I decided that was not going to be the case for the rest of my semester. It's senior year and I am going to learn and enjoy while I am still fortunate enough to be a student at Bible college.

So I decided to get ahead. And I have. I have spent almost every day of the last several days in the library just getting stuff done- even stuff I can do at home. But I know that my productivity is way less when I am at home and there are messes to be cleaned, yummy treats to be baked, and Ellen Degeneres to watch. I have gotten so much done. But there is still much to do considering I have two research papers due in the next two weeks!

One of my biggest issues is wanting to do it all myself. I want to take great care of Tyler and make his life so much easier and show my love through all of my actions. But the problem is... my life is a bit more packed than his. Not to say he doesn't do anything because trust me, ministry is like a job that never sleeps. But I try to cook all of the meals, keep the house tidy, do homework (which this semester feels like I am doing a years worth of homework), work my low 12 hours a week, but volunteer with the youth group several times a week. I just want to be the woman who does it all! I know Tyler appreciates this attitude but I also know he would be so gracious to help me if I would just ask him. I am getting a bit better and practicing sharing the load. I have always been the kind of girl to take the loads all to myself and not let others share in my stress. But I think that needs to change.

I have been meeting with a couple of my good friends (well, we have only met twice), but I can already tell you how happy I am that I sought some accountability in my life. My relationships have changed dramatically in the past several months. Many transitions happening that cause this. I think transitions are healthy... and I am thankful for it because I think that where I am now and the relationships that I am in now are a lot healthier than I have been in the past. I have had inklings that I need more accountability and more time to just share life with other women and I am so glad I finally made the step to do this.

Needless to say, my last few weeks have been more productive than usual on several levels. Mostly on levels that will reduce my stress and anxiety that I deal with on a regular basis. Life is a lot better when you take the necessary steps to be a healthy individual. It is my goal to become healthier emotionally and mentally this year.

P.S. On a very exciting note- I pre-enrolled for my last semester of college this week! Eek! I had a mere 12 hours I need in order to graduate... so I threw in an extra elective which means I am going to New York for 6 days in March! Hooray!

I feel like I can breathe now. My first exegetical of the semester is done. This, my friends, is an important thing. It has been several semesters since I wrote my first exegetical and my only exegetical prior to this. Apparently I saved all of my exegetical classes for senior year. Hm.. possibly a terrible decision. I have one more exegetical for this semester, and two research papers. Christmas Break can not come soon enough!!

This has been an interesting week. I went home last weekend, which was wonderful. I decided to extend my visit from Saturday night to Sunday afternoon and I am glad I did. It made for a crazy Sunday but what can I say, I missed my family! My dear friend Emily, who is a great blessing to me in this time of my life, went along with me. I thoroughly enjoyed that!

I am going back home tonight. My friend Lacy lost her mom this week to cancer. I cannot even express the amount that Lacy has seen in this life. Sometimes when I see others struggle through so much more than I ever had, I have no way of understanding how they keep going. But she just does. She is truly great. I really think that they moved here for a reason. When her father was diagnosed with cancer we spent much time encouraging one another, as both of our fathers had now gone through a serious health crisis. I will forever be thankful for her encouragement in my life. And now, I know, it's my turn to encourage her some more. Her mom was a very special woman. I wouldn't miss celebrating Lori's life for anything!

I am working on pictures for the blog of my home! But as you might guess, it's even harder to get everything together when I have school looming over me!

I hope you have a blessed day!