Productivity

Life has been very productive lately. I have a huge mound of assignments coming up in the next several weeks... which usually stresses me out to the max (at least that is the story of this semester). But last week I made a decision: I am not going to let myself get so stressed out that I actually have emotional breakdowns. Yes. I have had some extreme emotions going on this semester. When I get stressed out, these emotions are magnified. It's hard for me to handle being a wife, a student, a volunteer, and worker. I've even had to cut out my second place of volunteering which is extremely sad. I had several weeks that I was stuck in a rut of complete stress. But I decided that was not going to be the case for the rest of my semester. It's senior year and I am going to learn and enjoy while I am still fortunate enough to be a student at Bible college.

So I decided to get ahead. And I have. I have spent almost every day of the last several days in the library just getting stuff done- even stuff I can do at home. But I know that my productivity is way less when I am at home and there are messes to be cleaned, yummy treats to be baked, and Ellen Degeneres to watch. I have gotten so much done. But there is still much to do considering I have two research papers due in the next two weeks!

One of my biggest issues is wanting to do it all myself. I want to take great care of Tyler and make his life so much easier and show my love through all of my actions. But the problem is... my life is a bit more packed than his. Not to say he doesn't do anything because trust me, ministry is like a job that never sleeps. But I try to cook all of the meals, keep the house tidy, do homework (which this semester feels like I am doing a years worth of homework), work my low 12 hours a week, but volunteer with the youth group several times a week. I just want to be the woman who does it all! I know Tyler appreciates this attitude but I also know he would be so gracious to help me if I would just ask him. I am getting a bit better and practicing sharing the load. I have always been the kind of girl to take the loads all to myself and not let others share in my stress. But I think that needs to change.

I have been meeting with a couple of my good friends (well, we have only met twice), but I can already tell you how happy I am that I sought some accountability in my life. My relationships have changed dramatically in the past several months. Many transitions happening that cause this. I think transitions are healthy... and I am thankful for it because I think that where I am now and the relationships that I am in now are a lot healthier than I have been in the past. I have had inklings that I need more accountability and more time to just share life with other women and I am so glad I finally made the step to do this.

Needless to say, my last few weeks have been more productive than usual on several levels. Mostly on levels that will reduce my stress and anxiety that I deal with on a regular basis. Life is a lot better when you take the necessary steps to be a healthy individual. It is my goal to become healthier emotionally and mentally this year.

P.S. On a very exciting note- I pre-enrolled for my last semester of college this week! Eek! I had a mere 12 hours I need in order to graduate... so I threw in an extra elective which means I am going to New York for 6 days in March! Hooray!