Decisions, decisions.

I have had to make a few decisions lately and something occured to me...I have gotten much better at saying no-even to the things I really want to do.

I really do wish I could apply to be RA, but I think it best if I don't. I am more interested in taking my involvement at College Heights to a new level. I would rather focus on that ministry... Those high school girls probably need more time from me than I would be able to give if I had to be here for my floor as well. While I think I could possibly handle this, I don't think it would be what is best for our floor. I really want this decision to be made based on the floor and not myself.

I would really love to lead a freshman small group, but a couple of the requirements would not fit in with what is best for my life next year.. an extra class that would cause me to rearrange my work schedule, and a recommended limit on how many hours I take... no thanks. I would love to, but once again, the small group I will be leading come May deserves my full attention.

I realized with my tax refund being more than $20 this year I could maybe afford to buy a digital camera. But then it hit me-- OH. By the end of July I have to drop $250 if I want insurance on my computer. So there goes my new digital camera, here comes $250 on something I hope I need. This is the first time I have wished that my computer would break. Gotta put that 250 to use.

School is going to end soon and that's weird. I'll be a junior. I am almost halfway done with college.. or at least at this level. It's so weird to me that I have no idea where I am going or what I will be doing after graduation. I hope I have clearer plans by this time next year. But who even knows. That's the crummy part of letting someone else have control of my plans. But the great part is at least I know He is making the right choices for me!

Countdown

I can't believe I preached today. I had been dreading this day all semester. It came, the preaching is done, and I'd like to think I conquered.

It was such a blessing to be able to take the work I put in to something, express it to my peers, and have them tell me that my sermon could be a blessing in their lives. I kinda viewed it as they are there to evaluate... but on my evaluation forms, so many of them wrote that they needed to hear what I had to say. I am so thankful that God calmed me...and that he used me today.

I have two weeks of NO assignments due. I don't even know what to think! I also no longer work on the weekends... all of the sudden all of this time is coming! Woo! It's wonderful to have a little break... on top of the week I just got =)

Countdown, anyone?

35 days til Jason Mraz!
51 days til school is out!
74 days til Cambodia!

These are exciting times!

Spring Break is coming to an end. What an unfortunate thing!

At one point, I was so eager to use my entire summer to do something By do something, I mean go somewhere... not be at home. But that is no longer the case. I am so eager to come back and work and just rest. I realize that the school year makes me so tired... summer is for a reason. This year, I have chosen to work, go to Cambodia, and work some more. I will also have the opportunity to go to church camp with College Heights... that will be weird. I have only been to two church camps in my entire life. Both are dear to my heart... but here is to a new one! Not to mention the fact that Tyler and I will be at camp together once again... crazy how things can end up!

Tyler and I spent the entire break together... people have made comments of how this is something significant. Believe it or not, I wanted nothing more than to spend the whole week with him. I will get a whole summer without him. That's enough time away.

I realized something weird today. A family friend mentioned to me that I am an adult... I got to thinking about how I can't picture living somewhere else. I can picture living at school of course, but I can't picture having my own apartment... or living with people other than my parents. I can't imagine not coming home for a summer, or moving on to a different place after graduation, yet it is what I want. I hate having this desire for something I can't even picture.

I can't picture Cambodia, or Rapha House, or the Kids Club or the faces of the girls I am going to meet. I can't picture moving out of my dorm room someday and into another home- my new home. I can't imagine being out of driving distance from Owasso. It's unfathomable... But in reference to unfathomable Heaven is- I think the best things are the one we can't picture.

That sure makes life a little more exciting.

Do you know what it's like when you get far enough into a friendship when it's not like you have to go out or do something out of the ordinary but just sitting in good company is sufficient? I love that. That point has been reached recently. So much that I like to spend my everyday sitting in the company of a few marvelous girls and there is nothing else I'd rather be doing... just laughing and saying extremely strange things and doing tongue stretches. Have you ever been there? I'm there.

Have you ever been to the place in your life when all of the sudden you are actually learning from school? I didn't do a whole lot of learning in high school... mostly just what I needed to get by. Don't get me wrong, I tried hard, but I don't think I retained a whole lot. But now that I am learning things I care about, I feel like I actually retain knowledge. I am actually growing in the brain area. I'm there.

Did you ever reach a point where you decided that right where you are is better than where you want to be? Not because it is suddenly the place you want to be, but because God's provision proves that he keeps us where we should be. I don't mean geographically. I mean mentally. I'm there.

Has there been a moment in your life when all of the sudden you are able to make sense of the past experiences you have had? Like, all of the sudden it hits you --"This is why God had me go through this..." These moments are great. I'm there.

Have you ever had a moment when you realize that something you dread doing and really hate to do is teaching you more than the things you love to do? I'm there.

Do you have those moments where all of the sudden it doesn't matter if someone has been treating you poorly or they seem to have given up on you? Why do we even reach those conclusions? Is it maturity, or apathy? I don't know. But I think I am there.

Did you ever face a time when your two worlds collide? (example: high school friends and college friends) I am about to be there.

Was there ever a time when God was sending you on this journey and you thought that the journey had a specific start date (June 7th would be my example), but the journey actually started the day God showed you which door of opportunity to knock on? I'm there.

That's where I am.

15

I cannot wait to be home next week. Speaking of, my birthday is a week from today.

I got my flight itinerary for my trip from LA to Cambodia this week.. That was weird. My first thought was "oh, you mean...I am actually going there??" Strange. Money is going well.. I have a very small amount left. It's been a great experience.

I have so many plans for this summer... it's crazy. Especially since three weeks of it is me being gone... which is wonderful. But I wonder how I am going to fit these plans in to the allotted time I have been given for a summer break.

My brother is coming home!! And he will be there on my birthday!!! How awesome!

Tyler and I have been together for 15 months today. I like that because this month celebrates 15 months and the 15th of this month is my birthday. 15 must be a good number for me.

I really hope Duke beats UNC today so I can wear my Duke hoodie to Biblical Communication for Women and show Damien how it feels!!

You know how people say that God has a sense of humor? I am pretty sure my birthday is the result of that sense of humor. What is one of my least favorite things to do? Watch sports. Football, Basketball, Baseball, Golf, ANYTHING except Volleyball. Yet, God has given me the birthday of this years Selection Sunday for the tourney. A prime example of God's humor. March is my favorite, yet least favorite month of all. Sports fan think of March as "March Madness"... I think of it as "Abigail's Birth Month!!!" cause that is what it is really all about =)!

Anyway, there are a collection of random thoughts for you... My life is going to get busier next month. Luckily I have a week to spend with family....and Tyler...and Tyler's family.


As Tyler would say...

Deuces.