Tuesday, May 31, 2011

Someone who has "normal" going on.

Yesterday Tyler and I had the pleasure of delivering some needed items to a family who lost everything in the tornado. This family is very dear to the hearts of everyone in my family, so it was great to see them and be able to see how my family can bless them. One of the things the wife said to me was that it was good to see and talk to people who have "normal" going on, as their lives are extremely far from normal at this time. She said they have spent much time with people who are far from normal right now, so it's refreshing to be reminded that normalcy is still happening right now.

Well, what normal is for me in Tyler is even changing. This past weekend I was able to spend much time with my family and outside of the devestation that is Joplin. It was great to be in a town that is not mas chaos. It was great to not go out in public and be extremely aware that I am very clean and have nice clothes. Sometimes in the past week I have felt like I am in a different country because so much of this town is wearing someone elses clothes, digging through rubble all day, and not having the same hygiene situations as before. It's like being the minority in your hometown. Weird stuff. Anyway...

Normal for us means back to the grind of working part time and searching wholeheartedly for a place for Tyler to serve full time. Normal for us might mean Tyler working two part time jobs, me tossing around the idea of finding a job with more hours. Normal for us means constantly praying for God to open a door. I'm not gonna lie... right now would be a good time to leave Joplin as 4,000 jobs have been affected. Here we are, searching for a 3rd job in our family.

I know that God has kept us here for reasons. I know for a fact that God is working, but we are anxiously awaiting for him to reveal what he is doing. I am glad we are here so that we can serve this town. I know if we had moved recently we would be heartbroken not being in this place that we love and have called home for four and five years. So maybe that's a reason why we are here. Other things have happened too in the past week that make me reconsider why we are still in Joplin. Maybe we are here to minister in ways we did not anticipate ministering.

The main point of all of this is that even though our lives are continuing as normal right now, we are still trying to find our new normal... a normal without school, without one full time job, without much of a plan for the future. We are sure that God has a plan and that he is working and there is a purpose for us staying in Joplin for now. We are just waiting, waiting, and waiting some more for him to provide the means for us to survive in Joplin until we can leave.

Waiting is the worst. On the bright side, I get to wait with Tyler... and boy, does that make life interesting.

Friday, May 27, 2011

One of the weirdest experiences ever.

Can I tell you about how weird Sunday was? So weird.

Tyler's parents left in the late afternoon. We both quickly fell asleep on our couch and loveseat. Graduation weekend was exhausting and our last guests had just left. I set my alarm to wake me up around 6 PM, but received a text message (and unfortunately my cell was not on silent) that woke me up. When I woke up proably around 5 or so, there was a constant rolling thunder. I went outside because it was sunny. I just stood outside watching lightning and darkness to the west and sunshine to the east. It was a very eerie thunder that took no break in between clap. It was weird but kind of cool.

I went back inside and the rain started. I watched the calm spring storm- one of the reasons why I love this part of the country so much. Quickly the storm picked up and the rain was not so calm, the winds came, and the hail came. But if I am honest- it was nothing to take cover from. This was the same storm we experienced a week earlier. I opened the door after the hail started and went outside, Tyler finally woke up to the noise the open door let in. We watched the storm and watched the news as they told us a tornado was approaching Joplin. The sirens went off so I stayed inside, but we did not experience any of the typical signs of a tornado- black clouds and sky, the noise of a train, or even a green sky.

At 6:11 PM Tyler got a text message from a mother of his friend who lives in Oklahoma. She informed us that she saw there was a devestating tornado in Joplin and wanted to check on us. We were both pretty shocked that something big had happened, we did not experience anything worth checking on. Not long later my best friend from high school, Whitney, texted me to check on us. She told me about the footage she was watching on TV- a hospital destroyed, bodies in the street, a main business street destroyed.. Again, I was so confused that anything worth checking on had happened. The texts and phone calls flooded in regarding our safety, and those were much appreciated. So many people in Oklahoma saw what happened here before we did, so as you can imagine we were anxious to start seeing the damage that was done.

It was so weird to not know how bad everything was when it was just a few miles away. It was so weird to receive our information via text message from people in Oklahoma who saw my town destroyed before I did. It was so weird to stand on my porch thinking about God's strength and the beauty of this world through the storm, while it was killing the people of my town. God protected us. And now he comforts those who lost loved ones.

When I woke up on Monday I was just confused. I knew something was wrong but I couldn't remember what. I had a bad feeling in my stomach but it took me awhile to figure out why. It wasn't until I began to check my social media outlets and noticed people talking about how Al Roker was in Joplin... oh yeah. That's why I feel so sad. I just cried for awhile before pulling myself out of bed to go downstairs and watch things like the Today Show report from a few miles away. Most mornings I have woken up early and not been able to fall back asleep. With our internet at home being out we have relied on our smart phones and the news to show us what is happening in town. It was not until this week that I actually listened to the radio in my car. I am so thankful we have so many outlets to keep us informed.
Today I am just so thankful for God's peace and presence among his people. He does not abandon us. He remains our refuge and strength no matter what is happening. My favorite verse is always helpful in times like these, I have relied on it a lot.

"I have told you all this so that you may have peace in me. Here on earth you will have many trials and sorrows. But take heart, because I have overcome the world.” John 16:33 (NLT)

Wednesday, May 25, 2011

What to say...

I hardly have any words to describe everything I have felt for the past week, and more specifically the last three days. A friend of mine lost her husband last week. Then I celebrated graduating from college. Then the town I have called home for the past 4 years was leveled by several vortexes... All either EF4 or EF5 tornados. I am not one who has lived a life without tragedy. But every tragedy is different. This is one I never prepared myself for.

Obviously, Tyler and I are great. Our apartment was not touched. We saw some hail and rain and some wind but that's it. We kept hearing from friends and family in Oklahoma before we were even seeing anything on the news. All we knew was that a tornado hit and we knew the location but we had to get in our info elsewhere. It was a crazy night. It has been hard to rely on social media to know what is going on. But we are okay.

I've seen things I never thought I would see. And trust me, I have already seen a lot. But to see your town in utter devestation is hard to explain. It is also really weird to be scared by storms. I have lived my whole life in tornado alley. I can only recall two, maybe three times in my life that I actually took cover during threatening weather. Last night, we went across town to a basement. I can say that we are all shaken up- no matter how far we were from the tornado. The lightest wind and roll of thunder is a threat to us now. It's a scary feeling.

Thank you for praying and don't stop. 750 people are still missing. Obviously over 120 people are dead. Too many friends of mine have lost everything. Pray, pray, pray. Don't stop.

Sunday, May 22, 2011

Graduation

Sorry it has been quite awhile since I blogged. I seem to always take a break while life is either: very busy or not going how I planned... which I guess has been both for the last month.

But today we shall focus on the fact that I graduated from college yesterday! Hooray!

I have been waiting for this for some time. But I truly have mixed feelings regarding ending my time at Ozark. Ozark has very easily become my home. I was just sharing with Tyler that it is going to be so strange to leave Joplin and not really have reasons to come back... once we leave we will be visiting Owasso, Stillwater, and Fayetteville... not Joplin. What a weird feeling to consider leaving the place that has morphed me in to who I need to be.

Graduation was a wonderful ceremony. At the Baccalaureate service on Friday night my parents were asked to share a testimony regarding how Ozark has influenced our family. It was so much fun to have my parents personally involved. They did such a good job sharing and also challenging my class to influence people in a good way- a way that will make them thirst for God and hopefully lead them to Ozark. It was a really really cool thing that I will never forget. It was a pretty cool thing for my parents to give my lifelong blessing to my whole graduating class. Oh yeah, not to mention that I was able to sit by Kara during Baccalaureate... how very appropriate and wonderful to reunite with her!

Commencement was also a great ceremony. Almost all of my family was there and honestly, that might have been what I looked forward to most! Having everyone (minus Joely) together is such a wonderful thing. It was nice to finally have things come to a close. The only time that made me very emotional was when we were asked to appreciate our professors. My professors are the reason why I don't want to leave this place. They care so deeply for each and every student and I feel like I still have so much to learn from them. What a blessing to be led by Godly men and women who want nothing but the best for me.

So, I can't believe it is done. I can't believe I won't be attending classes there again. I also can't believe we aren't on our way to a new adventure. Tyler and I are still waiting patiently for guidance and leading to wherever God wants us to go. We are so committed to serving him wholeheartedly where he can best use us... but waiting is definitely hard. At least for now we have had some great blessings through family and kindhearted bosses that want to help take care of us while our life is in an in between stage. God has definitely shown himself through this process. We are very certain that he is brewing something for us but that his timing is different than ours.

Until then we will love where we are and love the people here. We have a lesser role in the youth group now... but we have new opportunity to spend time with couples our age and I have a new opportunity for a Bible study. We will definitely be taking advantage of where we are and the great church that surrounds us. We know God is keeping us here right now for a reason, so we will use that. We want to bloom wherever we are planted, but we are still looking forward to whatever is next for us.

"May the Lord bless you and keep you and make his face shine upon you, may he be compassionate and gracious, and give you peace." Numbers 6:24