Thursday, November 20, 2008

Philippians 4:10-20

This is the quietest I have ever heard this floor...I think there might be two other girls still on the floor. Today we all get to leave for our wonderful Thanksgiving break. Most everyone has already taken off to Tulsa for the National Missionary Convention or to their homes...but here I am, waiting.

Something I have realized in the past hour...or really in the past month, is that I love this floor. We have so many freshmen, not a lot of upper classmen...but it's a great mix. Just this past Sunday night we had a floor deocrating party (plus a few surprises along the way). It was a blast. I feel that it was a good moment in my life because I realized that as we came from our opposite ends of the halls, we meshed. It doesn't matter how well I know each girl individually (although I always wish to know some better...), but when we we are together it feels like we have known each other forever. Those are the best kinds of friendships. The same goes for individual relationships I have been able to build on this floor this semester. I couldn't be happier with my living situation. I know what it is like to be in a bad situation, and now a great one... But I know I can make it through both. I am thankful for both situations.

So. The last couple sentences of that paragraph are somewhat...okay, they are identical to verses from my Principles passage. I guess you could say I learned a lot.

Contentment is rough! But I learned so much. In my passage, Paul is writing to the church of Philippi to thank and encourage them. The portion I got to study all semester was about Paul's needs being met, but even more so than that it was about being thankful in all circumstances. Did you know that even when you have plenty, you might not be content? I never really thought about that. I figured that when I have enough and don't "need" anything, I am automatically content but that's not the case...because I still want things. This very moment, I can think of a lot of things I want... even though I have enough. It's really hard to find contentment even when I am amply supplied. More, more, more... that's always what is on the mind. It's not necessarily hard to be thankful, but just hard to be okay without always having more.

It was a great lesson. Studying it for a whole semester, doing 70 pages worth of research, and constantly having this project on mind really embedded what I needed to learn.

Anyway, I am going to continue packing as I continue to wait and get really excited about being home for awhile...hopefully during this time I will find plenty of contentment in being with family and friends, but missing Tyler, and my Dennis 3rd family...(ESPECIALLY Kara and Melissa/Melrose)

Have a lovely, cold day!

Friday, November 14, 2008

Changes

In the past year I have learned more about myself than I ever did before. There are so many things I never thought I would say about myself...but I would now. I think a lot of life-changes changed who I am, unexpected and expected life changes... But the truth of the matter is, I have changed. A lot of people who have known me my whole life wouldn't know or understand the details of who I have become. There is something a little frightening in that. There are people I have always thought of as those who know me best and those people have gone. It's not that they aren't in my life, but too many things have changed. Just as I have changed, I am sure they have too... 

I like to plan. I like to have plans, I like to make plans. I like to stay organized. I need my room to stay clean or I cannot be in peace. I really don't like people taking things without asking. I really enjoy privacy and boundaries. I am not outspoken. I tend to do what is best for others and not myself. I don't like to voice my opinion. I dislike speaking in front of people. I don't like to be messed with/I dislike practical jokes. Looking stupid makes me really sad. I don't want to be a teacher. I want to live a big city. I like to be surrounded by people with similar morals. I need lots of encouragement... for me, the lack of encouragement is discouragement. I am becoming a lot more confident in what I want, and I don't mean figuring that out, but voicing it. I am not as good at making friends as I used to be. 

And that's only a small list. But I am always happy to know that I am constantly learning and being challenged. The most uncomfortable and frustrating year of my life taught me enough for me to be okay with the bad things. It was good, but I am glad this school year has already been a thousand times better. With a floor of wonderful ladies, including my best friends and a whole group of great freshman, where am I to go wrong? Not to mention a pretty great boyfriend who is always so patient with me in the life lessons I am constantly learning... It's been great so far...and I know there will only be good with the rest of the year. 

Friday, November 7, 2008

Goodbye NYC

Another busy week is over! Only two left til I get to be home for about 12 days of fun with the family! I am so looking forward to being home for an extended time. Last time I went home was the longest I have been all semester...but my parents weren't even there for most of it! Sad day... but soon everyone will be there!

My Sunday spent in New York City was the most wonderful day ever! - NOT because of the reasons you all might think...or the reason...no, no no! - It was over all my favorite. The other church we went to besides The River was Brooklyn Tabernacle. It was amazing! It was the most homey church I feel I have ever been to. In a way it reminded me of being home because when I am at home, most everyone I pass says hello to me. That's not a bad thing, just a fact...and I felt like everyone we ever passed greeted us. People were greeting me in the bathroom. It was great! It felt like home.

I was really excited about the choir. I actually hadn't known any thing about an amazing choir until my mom told me, but that got me excited. There were about 150 people...it was made up of all different races too, which was unexpected. It was really cool to see all different people on stage. Another fun aspect was how laid back the service was. During the service the choir sang two songs as specials. There were two more times in the service that the pastor decided he wanted to hear them sing again so they sang one of the two songs again...so basically we heard both songs twice in the sermon, and if you count the rehearsals we saw- we heard each song 3 times. It was wonderful! I took some video but haven't quite figured out how to put that on here...

The rest of Sunday was just fun. We had two more speakers...which included my favorite Resa Storms. After we had our speakers, we quickly left midtown to go downtown. We got off the subway and were able to walk through NYUs campus. That was soo fun. It was cool because we were walking the streets with other college students. It gave a glimpse of what kind of life we might lead had we chosen to go to school there...it was pretty cool. It was a very cool and relaxed part of town. We had dinner at an interesting restaurant. It was called Dojo. Umm..please, ask me what kind of food it had. Yeah..I am not sure. It had Japanese food, pasta, and vegan. WEIRD mix, but it was a pretty cool restaurant. I had a really yummy dish called "Pasta Broadway". It was fettucini noodles with a creamy marinara sauce...very different from normal marinara sauce...very good. It also had two huge pieces of chicken on top. It was marvelous!

After dinner we walked briskly to Stomp. Stomp was awesome! It was hilarious! It is amazing how they never said a single word but I laughed sooo hard! There was one character, guy, person, thing...that they picked on the whole time. But there were also sooo talented! It was great. I would have loved to see a show on broadway, but this was a cool experience as well. Our walks to and from Stomp were really fun. It was a completely different side of the city... It just made me feel like if the cast of Rent lived in Manhattan, they would have lived here. Nathan told us that it is referred to as the "East Village". It was just a little crazy...we saw some interesting things down there that you wouldn't see in Midtown. It was awesome though. I don't think I would love living there...it is a little too off the wall for me, but it was great seeing a completely different side. It was VERY residential...very bohemian, I think...Tyler says "it was homier in a city sort of way. it wasn't intimidating like most of the city." That is a good way of putting it.

So that was fun! Seeing that place was great. After this we decided to head uptown for some final sight seeing. This subway ride involved our group being harrassed by a drunk man...oh dear. That was the city at it's finest =)! So this little problem made us decide to get off at Times Square instead of heading straight up to Central Park. We took a short walk through TS (as it was called most of the trip...) and then headed to Central Park. We could only walk along the outskirt trails of Central Park due to it not being the safest place to be at night...so we took a quick walk (with a quick stop for Tyler and I!) and proceeded to find a bathroom...it is SO hard to find a business to let you use the restroom without paying. So one of the kind gentlemen in our group bought some ice cream bars so the lovely ladies could go to the bathroom...how generous!

Finally, we walked back to TS and walked through one last time and headed back to Brooklyn. It was so sad to have to say goodbye to the city! But it was necessary...because now I am in the lovely, thriving metropolis of Joplin Missouri! Ugh. It gets worse everytime I think about it.

It's been two weeks and I still miss it. Oh please, someone hire me there for something! I will come running!!

Until I feel further inspiration to bless you with my words, have a lovely November weekend...my home of Ozark will be filled with the finest high schoolers of America..oh the fun!

Adios!

Monday, November 3, 2008

No answer??

Oh boy, what an interesting couple of days...from burning poptarts/filling my house with smoke, blowing a tire half way between Joplin-Owasso, and bad news on two different fronts. Sometimes I just feel like I need really good news to help me keep on goin and not dwell on the negative... but I am still waiting for that.

Something I have been thinking about is having all the answers. This is something I do not do well with. I need a plan! Without a plan, I do not know what is going to happen and in my mind that always looks negative. I like to be prepared. I like others to be prepared. I like others to be prompt because I am prompt. But there was a challenge in this area for me while I was in New York City..and we will get there in a minute.

We had about 6 different speakers through the whole weekend. I learned so much from each person. You would not assume to gain so much from each speaker but Dave sure did know how to pick them. Each person had been through so many different leadership situations. I had no idea the great company I would be sitting with. My particular favorite speaker from the weekend was a woman by the name Resa Storms. She and her husband Brent live in the city with their three kids. That's enough to impress me from the beginning! Three small kids in New York City? Hats off to the Storms family.

Resa had the most effective way of speaking for me. She went through each piece of advice along with a story of how she either made that mistake or avoided that mistake. One thing she told us was that we are not always going to have the answers. In a leadership role, people will ask questions all the time and I may not have all the answers. This is such an issue for me!

I am not comfortable without a plan. But life is not about me being comfortable...I mean, I shouldn't be. But I just like to know what to prepare for. I hate being unprepared. I hate feeling pressure. Anyway.

I guess we can't always be prepared...boy have I learned that three times in the past two days...

On the bright side, I have three, possibly four days dedicated to homework. This may sound like a drag but it actually sounds WONDERFUL to me! Getting things done is not common... I need the time.

Have a good day!