Dancing Through Life

Sometimes I don't know what God is doing. I don't mean that in a "I don't know his plan" way, but sometimes I just don't know why he does things I guess...I don't know why he sent me to that meeting. It was overwhelming. But that meeting and the opportunities God is giving me is making me realize how great he thinks I am. I have suddenly realized that he thinks I can do things I don't think I can do. He has faith in me. How weird is that...and all along we thought it was about our faith being in him... It's just weird to think about. Sure I am being vague... the point is that I still don't see why it's necessary for me to be involved in things that are truly bigger than I am. But maybe God think I am a way bigger deal than I think I am.

During our Valentine's Day date, Tyler and I had to walk over to our friends apartment to return some pans we used to make dinner. On this walk a quote came out of one of our mouths. I think I said it, I don't really know. But we were talking about our presents for each other (which we made ourselves...) and this was said: "It's funny how different things look to the creator". We both kind of took a pause because while it was not any deep conversation, a deeper thought bubbled in both our heads.

The way I view myself is probably very different from God's view of me...and before I started this Bible Study I have been doing, I don't think I ever really considered how God views me... but I think I get it a little better now. He wants me to be involved with a group of women in their 30's, 40's, 50's and 60's. He wants me to help with a retreat about something I am still on the opposite side of. He want me to be involved with influencing these girls with the story of Esther, and frankly, I am just not qualified! But God doesn't look at me and see a girl that is 19, not married, and still in the middle of my story rather than having my life figured out and without a set story that I let God write for my life. I don't like how skewed the view of myself is. I don't like that there are so many influences that make us think that something about ourselves is bad when God only sees it as good.

Lately I have become way more uncomfortable in this world than I have ever been before. It might be uncomfortable, but knowing that I am coming in to who I need to be and who God intended me to be is not something I would give up for a comfortable life.