An emotional goodbye

The night we left Rapha House for the last time was weird for me. It's a memory that has kept coming back in to my mind all week. Maybe it's because it was International Focus Week, we had a speaker from International Justice Mission, or because several of my dear friends are on their way to Cambodia today/tomorrow. I don't know. Whatever it is, I can't get this night out of my head.

I think the older of the two sisters knew we were leaving for good. She said goodbye rather quickly, got in the truck, and sat until they pulled out from the compound. The younger sister might have been oblivious. We said goodbye as always. We hugged inside the property, I went out and got on the bus... I wasn't even crying at this point. I know I am going back. I'll hug them again someday. But then she did it. She came to my window of the bus and began to wave. I wanted to tell her to go away. But I didn't because I knew I needed to savor every last moment possible. She waved. She began to blow kisses. She began to sign "I love you". This is when I lost it. It didn't matter if I was going back or not. What mattered is that I wouldn't be going back the next day.

Then I think it hit her. I can still see her face drop. She finally realizes that I am not coming back tomorrow. I wanted to get off the bus and give her a moment to re-do the goodbye that she probably thought was not the final one. It's so heartbreaking to watch her face change over and over again. I hope she knows I am coming back. I hope she still thinks about me too. I wish I knew why this memory is haunting me everyday. My heart just misses them.