"And you're healing will quickly appear..."

"It's worth it though..." Ugh. Wedding planning... not for me. Seriously. It was fun for like the first three months. And it's not that I am just so ready I can hardly stand it (I am super ready though). It's that I would just rather not make these decisions and figure out the details. It's super annoying. Our wedding is only 2 months from this coming Friday. It's really not that far away. Plus- I have the whole waiting thing down. It's is really just the planning that is annoying me at this point in time. (And this is coming from a person who thrives on planning.) Not to mention having to coordinate dates for showers, especially when people don't seem to be satisfied with when I am available... but I kinda feel like my availability is vital. But maybe that's just me.

Remember when I took a small sabbatical from Facebook? Well, don't worry, I am already annoyed again. So I guess it's time to assess the situation (I have been saying that a lot lately... weird). It's still like there are certain expectations regarding Facebook and people I know... and that is slightly crazy to me. Can we all just be reminded that it is a website? Sure it is a great connection, great advertising place, and serves a lot of really good purposes. But it is not the replacement of relationships in my life. Maybe when people ask to be my friend on Facebook I will make them fill out a list of expectations for our Facebook relationship. Is that a little controlling? Probably. But I tend to be on the controlling side. And that is something that I am comfortable and ultimately okay with.

So I am in Abnormal Psychology this semester. Umm... favorite class EVER. Seriously I am in love with this. Learning about all kinds of disorders is so so so very interesting. I think this is opening up the option of pursuing psychology, not just counseling or social work, at a graduate level. How exciting. But seriously, it's so awesome and I am learning so much. I try not to diagnose myself in class. But sometimes... ya just get curious! No major disorders for me so far =).

I am exhausted. Not really physically (although I am pretty tired). But emotionally, mentally, etc. I don't know what it is but it's been a trying month. I think there has just been a lot of reminders and focus on Cambodia/Rapha House/injustice in general. Frankly, I haven't had time to process. That's not something you really consider when you have an emotional day. But I truly haven't had time to sit and think. I haven't had time to feel what I am feeling. It's hard to be at peace with life when you can't even go through how you feel, why you feel it, what to do about it, etc. So this weekend I am going home. Sure, at the end of next week I will go home for Spring Break. But I just couldn't wait. I am so exhausted. I am afraid I won't make it another week of class without being able to go home and process and work through some things. Plus, on Wednesday nights we are going to start a series on injustice with a major focus on Rapha House. I really need to be in a place that I can be an asset to this series rather than an emotional basket-case that I end up being every time something so dear to my heart comes up.

To end, I shall share my favorite portion of my favorite passage of scripture. I encourage you to read Isaiah 58:5-14. But here is Isaiah 58:8:

"Then your light will break forth like the dawn,

and you're healing will quickly appear;

then you're righteousness will go before you,

and the glory of the Lord will be your rear guard."